Imagine suddenly waking up in a different body at the age of twelve. All the activities and tasks you were used to have become difficult or impossible, seemingly out of nowhere. Imagine trying to grasp that this is your new reality – that it might be like this forever. 

According to the 2019 US census, over 3 million children have experienced something along these lines, resulting in lasting disability. This is exactly what happened to artist “KYRIANNA” when she developed a debilitating chronic pain condition half way through her 6th grade year. 

Brain Fog

Born and raised on a sheep farm in Southern Oregon, KYRIANNA was once a very active child with extracurriculars and lots of friends. Suddenly, she had to grapple with the loss of her mobility. She was no longer able to participate in PE or play the violin with her local fiddle group. Her experience was isolating, not only because Chronic pain, MRIs, and Vicodin aren’t topics most 12 year olds are discussing, but because the pain would keep her locked in her room, unable to get out of bed due to her constant pain. It was there, in her childhood bedroom, that the young artist began to find reprieve through painting and drawing. As she got older and graduated to high school and eventually university, the parameters of her disability came into harsh focus. We can look back on early work from her teens and see these themes start to emerge of body horror, pain and frustration. 

Self portrait with morels; 2015

Throughout university KYRIANNA pursued art, delving deeper into self portraiture and her disabled identity. “I was struggling a lot. I was away from home and surrounded by teachers and students who saw me as able bodied and had little sympathy for the days I couldn’t get out of bed. I needed support, and I asked for it, but eventually I ended up having to find it on my own.” In her senior year at university KYRIANNA began facilitating a support group for students with chronic conditions – and it was here that she began painting her peers. Having long found catharsis in self portraiture and the visual articulation of her invisible symptoms, she saw working with others as a way to possibly share some of that catharsis, as well as spread awareness for chronic conditions and give voice to those suffering with them. Her thesis involved a series of portraits of other students dealing with conditions ranging from widespread chronic pain (Fibromyalgia) to brain deformation resulting in brain surgery (Arnold Chiari Malformation), both pictured below. KYRIANNA received the Senior Art Award for this work and was given her first solo show in the university library.  

Kathryn; fibromyalgia and Crohn’s disease

KYRIANNA developed an in-depth interview process for her subjects, including therapeutic visualizations that would often lead the composition of each portrait. Every subject was guided and encouraged to come up with an authentic visual articulation of their symptoms that the artist would execute in surreal watercolor and ink. 

As her career has evolved, KYRIANNA continues to explore portraiture as a means of communicating the silent struggle those suffering from disabilities face. When she’s not painting larger-than-life self portraits, she’s working by commission, connecting directly with subjects and their family members to create beautiful homages to their unseen pain. One painting subject said about the experience, “The way [she] captured my internal pain in such a visceral way is so….validating. I mean, even the drained expression on my face conveys the silent struggle of this chronic, exhausting journey. Actually seeing that little monster eating away at my body and my life source feels like such a huge step in the healing process for me. I don’t think anyone really understood just how excruciating this pain has been, but I can tell [she] gets it.” 

Sam; Arnold Chiari malformation

KYRIANNA is focused on spreading awareness for the prevalence and variety of chronic conditions, hoping to both educate the able bodied population and make others with chronic conditions feel seen and represented. She has had shows internationally, received grants for her portraiture, and grown a social media audience of over 50k across platforms, connecting individuals with chronic conditions from all over the world. Although her own chronic pain persists to this day the artist states, “I’ve found a purpose and given meaning to my condition. It isn’t beautiful, or okay, but it’s driven me to help others and make my life about something bigger than myself.” 

You can find more of her work at www.kyrianna.art or on instagram and tiktok @kyrianna.art